again... i feel like im...
confused.
Confusion number 1:
you know when you lsee this one person and your just like, what the heck are you thinking? and youve wondered that for nine months? it sux, to put it simply. especially when theres a lot of other people who seem to know more than you and when its one of those :::::hi this is MY life, and this is MY issue:::: it really sux.
Confusion number 2:
relates to confusion 1. i dont know if i need to say something or let it go. to say something would give me peace and i could finally know whats going on and all that. but it might mean heartbreak or more complictaion becasuse then things are out in the open and you cant hide them anymore. i have 5 weeks to figure all this out.....
confusion number 3:
last night i hing out with someone from home (niks knows...) and it was... weird. i mean like i respect her adn i know she has a lot of insight into things and i know she can see other things that i cant in my own life. but she said a lot of things that made me really confused. like she said i was still really angry and rebellious. and yes, sometimes yah, but not all the time and god has done a huge freaking butt load of stuff in my life with that. and im not half the angry rebellious person i was before. i dunno, it was... awkward to say the least, cuz shes like telling me all this crap then like :::relax, we´re going out tonight!!!::: and im like:::thanks for making me think about all my issues and wonder whats true. that helps me relax:::: and it was like ::::cant you see what god HAS done, rather than point out the issues that god has been working and working on. I KNOW I HAVE PROBLEMS:::: i dunno... it just confused me. i mean, i thought god has taken so much of that adn i know he has... but then i doubt myself which leads to......
Confusion number 3:
where do you take to hear the opinions of peòple and when do you stop? I mena, picture living in a place where about 20 people are your family and at least half of them know all your dirt and the other half know some one elses dirt that is connected to your dirt. so then everyone has opinions and has ideas and ::encouragemnet:: and all this to tell you. and they all see what you need to grow in and when you said that on thing it was wrong and it reflected something in your hear that you have to deal with, and they all want the best for you and want to see you grow and allthat. and dont think im being bitter or mad, cuz im not. im just trying t figure out when do you take it to heart and when do you let it go? i mean, maybe 3-5 people know intimately and deeply the process im walking right now, and their the poeple who i feel like i should only listen to. but then everyone else who i love nad care about adn respect. i dont want to ignore them, but i cant please everyone (DO YOU HEAR THAT ME!!!- YOU CANT SAVE EVERYONE!!!) and where do you draw the lines.....
confusion number 4:
so lets say this awkwards ilence im experiencing is because there is something there on the other side of the equation. okay... what am i gonna do about it? i know if it were to get around the base, confusion number three would increase by BIJILLIONS becaseu everyone has their ideas of what i need adn who he is and blah blah. not saying that i would jump into this whole relationship thing. i mena, ive liked this perosn since september, and 2 of the nine months weve been together weve been seperated and during the first 5 months we only talked like... never because i was in my school and since its been over we´ve hardly talked because of what leaders have told us. so what will i do.... what does god want from me....
thats the big question that will bring light to all confusion...
WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
Confusion number 1:
you know when you lsee this one person and your just like, what the heck are you thinking? and youve wondered that for nine months? it sux, to put it simply. especially when theres a lot of other people who seem to know more than you and when its one of those :::::hi this is MY life, and this is MY issue:::: it really sux.
Confusion number 2:
relates to confusion 1. i dont know if i need to say something or let it go. to say something would give me peace and i could finally know whats going on and all that. but it might mean heartbreak or more complictaion becasuse then things are out in the open and you cant hide them anymore. i have 5 weeks to figure all this out.....
confusion number 3:
last night i hing out with someone from home (niks knows...) and it was... weird. i mean like i respect her adn i know she has a lot of insight into things and i know she can see other things that i cant in my own life. but she said a lot of things that made me really confused. like she said i was still really angry and rebellious. and yes, sometimes yah, but not all the time and god has done a huge freaking butt load of stuff in my life with that. and im not half the angry rebellious person i was before. i dunno, it was... awkward to say the least, cuz shes like telling me all this crap then like :::relax, we´re going out tonight!!!::: and im like:::thanks for making me think about all my issues and wonder whats true. that helps me relax:::: and it was like ::::cant you see what god HAS done, rather than point out the issues that god has been working and working on. I KNOW I HAVE PROBLEMS:::: i dunno... it just confused me. i mean, i thought god has taken so much of that adn i know he has... but then i doubt myself which leads to......
Confusion number 3:
where do you take to hear the opinions of peòple and when do you stop? I mena, picture living in a place where about 20 people are your family and at least half of them know all your dirt and the other half know some one elses dirt that is connected to your dirt. so then everyone has opinions and has ideas and ::encouragemnet:: and all this to tell you. and they all see what you need to grow in and when you said that on thing it was wrong and it reflected something in your hear that you have to deal with, and they all want the best for you and want to see you grow and allthat. and dont think im being bitter or mad, cuz im not. im just trying t figure out when do you take it to heart and when do you let it go? i mean, maybe 3-5 people know intimately and deeply the process im walking right now, and their the poeple who i feel like i should only listen to. but then everyone else who i love nad care about adn respect. i dont want to ignore them, but i cant please everyone (DO YOU HEAR THAT ME!!!- YOU CANT SAVE EVERYONE!!!) and where do you draw the lines.....
confusion number 4:
so lets say this awkwards ilence im experiencing is because there is something there on the other side of the equation. okay... what am i gonna do about it? i know if it were to get around the base, confusion number three would increase by BIJILLIONS becaseu everyone has their ideas of what i need adn who he is and blah blah. not saying that i would jump into this whole relationship thing. i mena, ive liked this perosn since september, and 2 of the nine months weve been together weve been seperated and during the first 5 months we only talked like... never because i was in my school and since its been over we´ve hardly talked because of what leaders have told us. so what will i do.... what does god want from me....
thats the big question that will bring light to all confusion...
WHAT DOES GOD SAY?
posted by Sarah Stevens @ 12:25 PM
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