what god showed me on easter...

its kinda funny. here i am. sarah the missionary girl, serving god among the heathens, sat at the base all day on easter.

but god has blessed me and spoke to me so much.

i talked to my grandma this morning. took a shower and then fasted the morning.

i sat on my bed and was like ::::god, i need some words from you today. about going home, about HIM, just a word::::

and he gave me one. he gave me a amazing word about when i go home.

all i can say about what has happened in my life is that its not me. all i can preach is CHRIST and HIS work in me. thats what changed me adn thats what will impact the people around me.

then i got up and was like :::cool, thanks god. i would ask for a word on HIM, but im too scared...::: like said to god how i felt and just gave him all me fears and doubts and all of it. and got up and put on my shoes and getting ready to leave adn god was like ::::i have more for you if you take the time to listen:::

it was basically god saying to me :::come and be with me more, i want to talk to you:::

and i couldnt resist.

so i sat down and he began speakign so much amazing things about what he has for me and everything. and i picked up my pen and began to write adn god showed me something so amazing about the whole drama going on right now.

it was amazing. and i have such a peace.

but its so weird, becasue everyones like ::ask god to take away your feelings for this guy and renounce to them and blah blah.:: and so i took all that to god adn said, :::god heres my feelings. youv told me renouncing isnt always the right thing because sometimes it means denial and i cant deny all this. but i want your will and i want you to take them in your hands and do with it what you want.:::

and youd think, in the box of a mind we all have to some extent, that god would say ::its wrong, hes not for you. get over him, and stop thinking in this.:::

but thats not what hes telling me.

instead he's telling me to wait.

to learn what is love truly.

to learn to rest in him and trust in his times.

to learn to bless when i dont understand whats going on and it hurts.

to learn to discern what is going on in someone elses life that may affect me.

to learn.

so thats why my easter was amazing.

because god spoke to me more than if i had gone and sat in church and said ::he has risen indeed::: to ahundered people.

and when god speaks to you... theres nothing better.