Sometimes all you can say is ::what the hell just happened?!::
So... i dont even know where to start. damn it, i hate when that happens!
this week has been a crazy blur where i felt like everyday i woke up and said :::ok, God, You do the driving and i'll roll with the punches...::: only most of it wasnt punches... it was more like drinking a margarita, where every taste is amazing, with a little bite a the end that makes you want more...
It weird to sit here and look back on everything that has happened, and think of how everything i've needed has just been given to me by random people and from places i dont expect. the things i needed and things that i never even let my self dream would actually happen. Like gas money. lol- my car has been on less than half a tank all week, but i havent ever run out. talk about living on the edge. right before i go :;oh shit, i need gas:: someone has popped in and said ::heres some gas money:: or ::merry christmas!:: its crazy how that works.
and today i was driving home and all i could think about was how freaking blessed i am. its been so hard these last few months living with no money, feeling like my parents have written me off, wondering if god even cared anymore and why he wasnt pulling through even tho i was doing my best. I cried on christmas eve as i was talking to my grandma, i just broke down like a total basketcase, and all i could think was ::where the hell is god? and how much longer do i have to wait before he gets his act together? this is not helping me hold it all together:: I've been in ::sarah the fighter:: mode for so long, and i never realized how tired of trying to make shit happen, and trying to keep my head above water on my own will and stubborness alone, til my grandma hit me with ::sarah, dont lose heart, its gonna be ok::: dont know why, but telling me ::its gonna be ok:: is a sure fire way to break me down.
and i sat there and leveled it out with god. its amazing how well he knows where our limits are and sometimes i think he loves to push us there, just so we can be blown away by the way he comes to rescue us.
i love being the princess.
oh- and by the way, i have the most amazing friends ever. id have gone crazy without you. and guess what? you all better not mess with me, cuz i know this guy thats gonna kick your ass if you do... :)
xosss
this week has been a crazy blur where i felt like everyday i woke up and said :::ok, God, You do the driving and i'll roll with the punches...::: only most of it wasnt punches... it was more like drinking a margarita, where every taste is amazing, with a little bite a the end that makes you want more...
It weird to sit here and look back on everything that has happened, and think of how everything i've needed has just been given to me by random people and from places i dont expect. the things i needed and things that i never even let my self dream would actually happen. Like gas money. lol- my car has been on less than half a tank all week, but i havent ever run out. talk about living on the edge. right before i go :;oh shit, i need gas:: someone has popped in and said ::heres some gas money:: or ::merry christmas!:: its crazy how that works.
and today i was driving home and all i could think about was how freaking blessed i am. its been so hard these last few months living with no money, feeling like my parents have written me off, wondering if god even cared anymore and why he wasnt pulling through even tho i was doing my best. I cried on christmas eve as i was talking to my grandma, i just broke down like a total basketcase, and all i could think was ::where the hell is god? and how much longer do i have to wait before he gets his act together? this is not helping me hold it all together:: I've been in ::sarah the fighter:: mode for so long, and i never realized how tired of trying to make shit happen, and trying to keep my head above water on my own will and stubborness alone, til my grandma hit me with ::sarah, dont lose heart, its gonna be ok::: dont know why, but telling me ::its gonna be ok:: is a sure fire way to break me down.
and i sat there and leveled it out with god. its amazing how well he knows where our limits are and sometimes i think he loves to push us there, just so we can be blown away by the way he comes to rescue us.
i love being the princess.
oh- and by the way, i have the most amazing friends ever. id have gone crazy without you. and guess what? you all better not mess with me, cuz i know this guy thats gonna kick your ass if you do... :)
xosss
posted by Sarah Stevens @ 9:17 AM
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