Birthday and a chance for a new start...
So quick rundown on the party festivites- AMAZING. i really had a good time, which rocked.
But what i wanted to write about, simply cuz im feeling the desire to express myself at 11 30pm, is my goals for this next year. Its weird, but its a night that i come out and my creative deep side shines through, that Sarah the Introvert.... hmmm.. so your welcome to come along for the ride, if you choose....
Some people use January 1st to set their ::resolutions::: but for me that happens on my birthday... so heres some of my resolutions and goals... some are shallow and unimportant, adn some are deep and personal,,,
1. i want to get my hair to its natural color (dirty bond, by the way...) and become more ::me:: as in less makeup, natural hair color, wear whatever i want to regardless of anything... God did so much in bringing out who i really am in this past year and i want to continue to embrace that. I have so much to learn about myself still, tho. i ldiscovered that i do have this other part of me, not as in two faced, but just another layer that is the quiet, observantm, and discerning me that doesnt be crazy all the time but is the part that holds the essance of me- my beliefs and why, the things that hurt me, the things that im thinking about that want to get out some how... but shes much different then the person i sometimes am so balance is the key here....
2. Be healthier. i know- number one on everyones list, but its getting more and more important for me as i see what lack of exercise, lack of healthy eating, and a sedendary lifestyle does to people- Thank you, curves and all its large ladies.... I want to be old someday and not obese with 50 million health problems that i could prevent now.... SO- more exercise, less junk food, more veggies and healthy things.
3. Begin school for nursing. Obvio! I want to be constantly working to get closer to my goals for the future and life. So therefore, START SCHOOL to have a job to afford the travelling....
4. Learn to manage my money well, and save it! i have blown soooo much money, that looking back, could have been used for so much else. I want to be the kind of person who is not in debt, who can give and be generous without becoming broke. I love when i can buy someone lunch, or can get a random girf for someone, but i need to learn to manage everything well so that i dont end up completely broke when i do. plus i want to have enough money by the end of the summer adn by the end of 06 for a plane ticket to AR and to start on paying off a car so when i need ot buy one, im not chained down for ages to a peice of metal.
5. No retarded relationships. end of story. thats relatively self explanatory. I know what i want to do with my life and i have avague idea of the type of person i want to be with. i do not want to let my standards down for an instant and end up with *another* name on the list. and in the whole relationship thing there have been a few thoughts that have popped up (hey, im a girl and so i think about these things a lot....) 1. I am not going to be the one who starts it all and who holds on. not to say i wont fight for it, but in a right way. in the past, to hold on to the relationship meant to be physical, but i dont want that anymore. 2. I will never ::pull a kelsey:: on anybody. Ever. in teh stories its not the girl saving the guy or sweeping the guy off his feet, and theres a reason for that. When the time is right, who ever it is will come to me. 3. i dont want a big long drawn out thing- as in we stay in the whole ::i think i love her, but i dont know, are we good together? blah blah:: you know, the whole first stage of dating that some people stay in FOREVER. No, yah, take the time to get to know each other totally, but then take time apart to really think and pray if you can be committed to the person forever. Because i personally dont think you have to date for like 3 years to know if your gonna love that person, cuz i totally believe love is a choice more than a feeling. oh and 4. no wedding before im finished with school. relationship, possibly, if god opens the doors but honeymoon and wedding- no.
6. Deal with The Issue and find a church. this may not take me a year, but i have some letters i need to write, some meetings i need to schedule and some people i need to talk to. its a process. and god is having so much grace with me. i feel at so much peace to simply walk in the moments that come and let god be the complete director of it all. true i cant be lazy and simply avoid it forever, but god has a merciful way with me and thats that he always gives me the thought or the conviction, then gives me time for my heart to change and accept the new thing hes bringing. thank you god for that, cuz otherwise i have no idea if i would even be starting nursing school in teh fall. plus i know that i need to get into more fellowship and around more people who believe what i do.
7. Get better at my job and stop doing such a half ass job at so many things. i realized that i have b.s.-ed my way thro so much of life- school, relationships, parents, etc. adn im really tired of that old habit. im ready to be done with it and do things the best i can. So this applies to my job. learn more about fitness and health so i can be more available to the ladies and more knowlegable. (hence make more $$$$ too...)
8. Work on the cussing thing..... its again a process and an old habit that dies hard. but im going to work on it.
9. if god leads me, begin writing a book... thats more of a life goal, but im open to start it when god says its time...
and i guess the final one is to continue to grow and change in the other areas god opens up and shows me....
so thats just a look into sarah. theres a lot more to me than one might get on first glance. and i have a lot of things on my heart that you might not have known...
But what i wanted to write about, simply cuz im feeling the desire to express myself at 11 30pm, is my goals for this next year. Its weird, but its a night that i come out and my creative deep side shines through, that Sarah the Introvert.... hmmm.. so your welcome to come along for the ride, if you choose....
Some people use January 1st to set their ::resolutions::: but for me that happens on my birthday... so heres some of my resolutions and goals... some are shallow and unimportant, adn some are deep and personal,,,
1. i want to get my hair to its natural color (dirty bond, by the way...) and become more ::me:: as in less makeup, natural hair color, wear whatever i want to regardless of anything... God did so much in bringing out who i really am in this past year and i want to continue to embrace that. I have so much to learn about myself still, tho. i ldiscovered that i do have this other part of me, not as in two faced, but just another layer that is the quiet, observantm, and discerning me that doesnt be crazy all the time but is the part that holds the essance of me- my beliefs and why, the things that hurt me, the things that im thinking about that want to get out some how... but shes much different then the person i sometimes am so balance is the key here....
2. Be healthier. i know- number one on everyones list, but its getting more and more important for me as i see what lack of exercise, lack of healthy eating, and a sedendary lifestyle does to people- Thank you, curves and all its large ladies.... I want to be old someday and not obese with 50 million health problems that i could prevent now.... SO- more exercise, less junk food, more veggies and healthy things.
3. Begin school for nursing. Obvio! I want to be constantly working to get closer to my goals for the future and life. So therefore, START SCHOOL to have a job to afford the travelling....
4. Learn to manage my money well, and save it! i have blown soooo much money, that looking back, could have been used for so much else. I want to be the kind of person who is not in debt, who can give and be generous without becoming broke. I love when i can buy someone lunch, or can get a random girf for someone, but i need to learn to manage everything well so that i dont end up completely broke when i do. plus i want to have enough money by the end of the summer adn by the end of 06 for a plane ticket to AR and to start on paying off a car so when i need ot buy one, im not chained down for ages to a peice of metal.
5. No retarded relationships. end of story. thats relatively self explanatory. I know what i want to do with my life and i have avague idea of the type of person i want to be with. i do not want to let my standards down for an instant and end up with *another* name on the list. and in the whole relationship thing there have been a few thoughts that have popped up (hey, im a girl and so i think about these things a lot....) 1. I am not going to be the one who starts it all and who holds on. not to say i wont fight for it, but in a right way. in the past, to hold on to the relationship meant to be physical, but i dont want that anymore. 2. I will never ::pull a kelsey:: on anybody. Ever. in teh stories its not the girl saving the guy or sweeping the guy off his feet, and theres a reason for that. When the time is right, who ever it is will come to me. 3. i dont want a big long drawn out thing- as in we stay in the whole ::i think i love her, but i dont know, are we good together? blah blah:: you know, the whole first stage of dating that some people stay in FOREVER. No, yah, take the time to get to know each other totally, but then take time apart to really think and pray if you can be committed to the person forever. Because i personally dont think you have to date for like 3 years to know if your gonna love that person, cuz i totally believe love is a choice more than a feeling. oh and 4. no wedding before im finished with school. relationship, possibly, if god opens the doors but honeymoon and wedding- no.
6. Deal with The Issue and find a church. this may not take me a year, but i have some letters i need to write, some meetings i need to schedule and some people i need to talk to. its a process. and god is having so much grace with me. i feel at so much peace to simply walk in the moments that come and let god be the complete director of it all. true i cant be lazy and simply avoid it forever, but god has a merciful way with me and thats that he always gives me the thought or the conviction, then gives me time for my heart to change and accept the new thing hes bringing. thank you god for that, cuz otherwise i have no idea if i would even be starting nursing school in teh fall. plus i know that i need to get into more fellowship and around more people who believe what i do.
7. Get better at my job and stop doing such a half ass job at so many things. i realized that i have b.s.-ed my way thro so much of life- school, relationships, parents, etc. adn im really tired of that old habit. im ready to be done with it and do things the best i can. So this applies to my job. learn more about fitness and health so i can be more available to the ladies and more knowlegable. (hence make more $$$$ too...)
8. Work on the cussing thing..... its again a process and an old habit that dies hard. but im going to work on it.
9. if god leads me, begin writing a book... thats more of a life goal, but im open to start it when god says its time...
and i guess the final one is to continue to grow and change in the other areas god opens up and shows me....
so thats just a look into sarah. theres a lot more to me than one might get on first glance. and i have a lot of things on my heart that you might not have known...
posted by Sarah Stevens @ 11:32 PM
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