Sarah's life in words

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Why am i such a biatch sometimes?!

So i know its over and alls well now, but last night i remembered something about myself that i wish i could just forget and NOT do anymore.

So i had a really good day (minus the over girl-ness that is why i dont have a lot of girly friends....) hanging out with all these people out on vashon. Nacho taught me how to throw a football! yay- im basicalyl the collest EVER! joking. and i got to talk to the dupee brothers which was fun... so overall it was great. Oh, and adventures in a big van that was almost outta gas!!!!

but then we were driving home adn i mentioned something about wanting to go home and nikki was like :::no, im not letting you drive. just stay here with me:: adn matt was like ::;yah, you shouldnt drive, youre too tired and theres a bunch 'o' drunks on teh roads:: blah blah.. Basically everyone was like ::dont drive home!:::

and the little Sarah that cant handle peoplebossing her around and who thinks she doesnt need anyone showed up. So when we got to nikkins i was like ::im going home::: and nikki tried to stop me and stuff, but i wouldnt listen, so the night ended with a ::FINE!:: (+door slam) with nikki and a :::IF I DIED TONIGHT THATS THE LAST THING YOU SAID TO ME! ::: (+shut the eff up- under my breath)

but no sooner had i gotten in the car, then i was like :::what if i died, this is so stupid that im doing this. Im such a bad friend!!!::::

but my stupid pride kept me from going inside adn staying adn apologizing for my bitchy out burst


So i had an uneventful drive home, basically beating my self over the head for being dumb, and realizing that if i did die, my best friend would think i hated her and itd all end on a big Sikki and Narah fight.

It :::suxed to be me right then::::

So i got home and apologized to nikki.

long story short:

Im stubborn.

Im proud.

And i have a hardcore independent streak in me that is a constant battle for me to fight. and here i was thinking i had nothing to work on and was doing all super good....

HA

so to all my friends, thanks for loving me through it all. and its a process that i am going to have to fight, because i dont want to be stubborn and prideful.

and i know that i need all of you, cuz i truly cant live this life on my own...

and in spanish, cuz for some reason spanish is what god uses to speak to me the most, cuz it bypasses my mind and goes straight to my heart,

No puedeo vivir sin Vos!

y una cosa mas...

mi manana no va ser equal! porque voy a cambiar un poco mas cada dia!

(translation, cuz im all about the translation: I cant live with out You, adn one more thing, Tomorrow isnt going to be the same cuz im going to change a little more each day!)

1 Comments:

  • At 12:03 PM, Blogger Samuel Hill said…

    podemos escritar en castellano, y Nikki va a estar muy frustrada.

    tu hablas la verdad, sin El Senor, mi vida no cambia mucha, pero con Dios, estoy un hombre nuevo...

    te ama

     

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