Why is it easier to look at the bad, not the good...

So tonight i got home, with a stomach ache, and sat down to check my emails and stuff. WHat should be there but a FAFSA thing, and long story short, i stressed myeslf out about it, and freaked out. then i went upstairs to my wreck of a room and freaked out. flipped out over a TXT msg, then effed up my matte and made a mess.

all this time, freaking out about how im not gonna make it, and thinking about all the obstacles. i let myself get totally blind to how this is all coming together...

the house. the roommate. getting accepted. being given a commercial, super nice, fully loaded HP, not going to be outdated for a few years, FREE computer. i quit smoking- as in i havent bought any in two weeks. the excitement and expectancy i have for whats next. that my dad paid all my car repairs. that my grandma is sending a gift of money. that im picking up a bunch of hours this week and the next few.

i really am blessed. and i really am supposed to do this.

i dont know how to explain it. its like im being taken on an adventure, like im holding someone hand and chasing after them, as i get pulled along- captivated by the voice calling me from somewhere ive never been to a place ive never seen. its like a kiss that leaves you wanting more, so you come in a little closer, but then its a little farther back, with a sly smile, waiting for you to come get it. in the end, you have no choice but to throw your arms around his neck to keep him from going away again...

i guess, in teh midst of all of this drama and craziness of pulling it all together...

Im in the most amazing romance i will ever be in in my entire life.